Benson Out of the Blue
by PrincessRotation
Summary: The gang all go to different colleges, and Sam hasn't really heard from Freddie in a few months - she still resents him for asking Carly if it's too late to love him. One day he turns up out of the blue, wanting to make things right again. What's Sam gonna do? Kinda angsty, kinda cute. Hope you enjoy! (More chapters to come!)
1. Chapter 1

I totally stole the name of Grace Helbig's dog because it's the most adorable name for a dog I've ever heard. Enjoy!

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Sam slowly exited the coffee shop, bringing her Styrofoam coffee cup up towards her face for warmth, the lid abandoned in the trash. The barista called a friendly farewell to her as the shop was only small and he knew all of the locals quite well. She smiled and waved in return, walking away and pulling her coat tighter around her. There was a bite of cold to the wind blustering around the town, but the sky was clear and the sun was intense enough to make Sam feel like she might not freeze her ass off.  
She'd just finished an essay in the coffee shop, her laptop was now safely stowed away in her laptop case hanging from her shoulder, and she was speed walking back to her dorm room. She usually didn't do work anywhere but her room, but today she had been in a messy head space and needed a change of scenery to think clearly and keep her mind on task. Ever since she had been accepted to a university in Seattle, and Carly and Freddie had moved away, she'd decided that she wanted to show what she was really capable and get good grades. There was also an element of competitiveness to Sam's new enthusiasm, because she'd love to see the look on her mom's face if she got higher grades than Melanie.  
With carly in California (somewhere that Sam thought was perfect and so typical for Carly) studying Sociology, and Freddie in Washington studying something to do with Computer Science (she never really bothered to listen to the dork), Sam was kinda on her own. Well, she had Spence. But it wasn't like she didn't like being alone. Sam was very abrasive, and found it hard to make new friends, which was why when she met Carly and Freddie, and clicked with Carly (and eventually accepted Freddie), she was content with just them. Now she was alone, and not really bothering to make any new friends. People did talk to her, but Sam didn't really bother to meet them half way and actually form a friendship. She usually just brushed them off, preferring to spend her time studying, doing her assignments, hanging out by her self or visiting the Shay apartment to see if Spencer was around. She still had a little crush on him but hoped he had forgotten.  
She missed Carly a lot, and lived for when she came to visit. She kept her new-found academic goals from her though, wanting to surprise her and make her proud. When Carly came up to see her from California she'd be tanned and happy and full of stories about new friends and parties and going to the beach, things Carly had always dreamed about, and Sam would feel really happy that she was having a great time, but also upset because she missed Carly and wanted to spend some of those good times with her. When Carly would have to go she would even cry after she'd left, even though she knew it was stupid because they skyped, called and texted each other all the time.  
Freddie on the other hand, Freddie was a different story. She hadn't spoken to him in a few months apart from the occasional text here and there, even though he was closer to home than Carly was. After the breakup and without Carly around, they'd grown distant. Carly was always there to break up their fights but without her the fights became more intense and the periods of ignoring each other before they eventually made up became longer, stretching for weeks before they eventually forgot why they were even mad in the first place. Sam didn't skype Freddie, feeling self conscious and awkward on camera, not really knowing what to say or ask him anymore, not really knowing what to tell him about her new life. And she was kinda scared about asking him about his own, not wanting to know if he had a new girlfriend or wanting to hear about any girls that he was interested in. She still had strong feelings for him, but she was also extremely pissed at him most days, for the way their relationship had trickled out into nothing, for the way he didn't bother making as much as an effort with her as he did with Carly, for the way he'd asked Carly if there was ever a chance she'd love him after Sam and Freddie had broken up (Sam had overheard but kept her mouth shut), for the way she felt used and like she never really mattered. Some days she doubted if Freddie had actually ever liked her, or if she was just a rebound to soothe Carly's rejection. He'd told her he loved her and now he was nowhere to be found.  
And so, so was she. She'd stopped making an effort and whenever she thought of him, felt increasingly mad and hurt, which she thought was probably a good thing so that she might get over him and stop having feelings for him.

So today she had been sitting in her dorm room (which she didn't share with anyone because her roommate had been expelled pretty much 2 weeks into moving in for god knows what reason, she did seem weird though so Sam was kinda glad), trying to concentrate on her English paper and failing miserably. Her mind kept wandering back to Freddie for some reason and she felt trapped in the room, everything she looked at that she had brought from home reminded her of him in some way. Old iCarly props she'd scattered around made her heart sink in her chest today. She'd woken up from a dream about Freddie that morning and she just felt like crap. She kept thinking about how betrayed he made her feel, and how she shouldn't even be thinking about him anyway because she was Sam Puckett and didn't need anyone (except maybe Carly). And he was the only boy she'd ever let down her walls for and said I love you, and she felt like it was all for nothing. She knew first loves hardly lasted but this one was hard to shake. He'd been one of her best friends for years and most of her happy memories were of spending time with him and Carly.  
Unable to concentrate and needing coffee, she'd grabbed her coat and packed up her laptop and headed to the coffee shop, thinking a change of scenery might help. And it had. Essay finished, she was heading to her dorm to drop off her laptop, and then she thought she would go and pick up one of her mom's friends Mary's dog, Goose. Mary had some back problems and sometimes found it hard to walk Goose, a large bulldog who Sam loved. So Sam had offered to walk Goose whenever she was free, and Mary had happily accepted, even offering money which Sam had initially turned down, but then reluctantly accepted (student life).

By the time she'd gotten to Mary's and picked up Goose, Sam was in a much better mood. She'd finished her coffee and was feeling clear headed and energetic, enjoying the walk through the local park. Goose was a strong dog but was no match for Sam, so she had no trouble keeping him out of trouble. After about an hour of walking though, Goose started to pull really hard while Sam was absent minded-ly watching some guys play basketball and she nearly lost control of him. Blurting out a "sorry" to whoever Goose was trying to jump up, she froze when she heard a familiar voice say, "It's alright, Puckett, he's cute."

She looked up into the grinning face of Freddie Benson, and didn't know what to say. She felt so many conflicting emotions. Surprise, that she'd been mulling over him all morning and now here he was, standing right here in front of her, as if her thoughts had summoned him. Happiness, because she had missed him so damn much, she just wanted to throw her arms around him. Anger, because she resented herself for still loving him so much and because she was still mad at what he'd done. But she just decided to stay cool and chill, because Puckett's hardly lost their cool unless someone provoked them. No matter how much she wanted to hug him, she kept her hands busy by restraining Goose, and maintaining a chilly silence she kept her eyes on the dog too.

Sensing the awkwardness, Freddie attempted another conversation starter. "So, I didn't know you have a dog... I thought you weren't allowed pets on campus?"  
Sam shrugged casually, as if she still saw Freddie all the time and this was just another of their oh-so-often run ins. "He's not mine, I just walk him. Sit, Goose."  
"Goose?" He laughed, and Sam smiled despite herself. "That's adorable. How you been, Puckett?"  
"You'd know if you bothered with me at all." Sam snapped before she could stop herself, her mind clouding with anger and annoyance again because he couldn't just show up here and... wait, why was he here?  
"I missed you Sam, I just thought... you were angry with me or something. We weren't in the best of places when we left for college." He explained sheepishly. "I know things ended weirdly between us, but I have really missed you..."  
"How did you know I'd be here?" Sam demanded, her icy blue eyes meeting his warm chocolate brown ones in an accusatory stare.  
"Where, Seattle?" He joked, trying to break the tension.  
"The park." Sam clarified, not cracking a smile.  
"I was walking to your campus to see you and bumped into you." He shrugged. "Do I not even get a hug, Puckett?" He teased.  
She scoffed, but he'd already pulled her into one, and she gave up resistance pretty quickly, wrapping her arms around him and resting her head in his neck, smiling despite herself. She missed him so much suddenly, was so happy to have him here even after stewing over him in anger for months, that she didn't wanna let go. The hug went on for way longer than a casual hug between friends, and when she went to pull away eventually he stopped her, looking down at her and whispering, "Can we go back to your dorm? It's really cold out here."  
She looked down at his chest, knowing that it was a bad idea. She'd been mad at him for months and she'd be mad at herself if she just forgave him this easily... But maybe she could confront him in her room. So she nodded, noting that his answering smile made her tummy flutter a little.  
"We need to drop off Goose first." She informed him, doubling back in the direction of Mary's house. Freddie nodded and fell into step with her. He smiled down at her for most of the journey but she pretended not to notice.

When they finally got back to her dorm, as soon as she'd unlocked to door to her room and pushed it open, his arms were around her again and he gently pushed her in, closing the door behind them with his foot.  
"Benson, wait-" She sighed, feeling his face buried in her curls and his arms slip around her waist under her coat. "What are you doing? Why did you come here?"  
He straightened up and looked down into her eyes sheepishly. "I just really missed you and we haven't talked in a long time." He dropped his hands from around her and sat on her bed, watching her take off her coat. "I hated how things ended with us and that we hardly speak to each other anymore. And I figured if I came here I could get things back to normal. We never could stay mad at each other too long if we're actually face to face," he cracked a smile, extending an arm and pulling her down softly onto his lap, reaching up and winding one of her curls around his finger.  
"How do you mean... how they used to be? How we used to be best friends, or we used to be... more?" She asked quietly, suddenly feeling very nervous and un-Puckett like.  
He shrugged, smiling wider, dropping her curl and cupping her face and bringing it ever so close to his own, whispering, "I miss more. But it's your call, Princess. How do you feel?"  
She wondered when he'd got so charming. Her heart was beating so loud in her chest she was sure he could hear it.  
"I just miss you." She confessed, wondering where her anger had gone.  
"Let's never fall out of touch again, you make me crazy Sam." He laughed.  
She smirked and nodded. "Yeah, I miss winding you up. I miss sending your cellphone to Cambodia. I miss making up nicknames for you and seeing you get all worked up..."  
"God," he groaned. "You're such a demon, you know that Sam?"  
She went to give him a Chinese burn in retaliation, but he caught her wrists and pulled them up around his neck, pulling her into a kiss. She happily responded, with a kiss that was full of anger and passion and seemed to express all of the emotions she had been feeling about him for the last few months. After a few minutes they broke apart, breathless and quiet, Freddie still with that godforsaken smile on his face.  
"You're so annoying, nub." Sam commented, rolling her eye and climbing off his lap. She opened her mini fridge and pulled out a peppi cola, chugging from it before remarking, "Had to wash the nubby taste of you out of my mouth."  
"Oh, can it Puckett. I'm having to put up with the taste of delinquent."  
"Don't pretend you don't worship me." She was relived they had fallen back into arguing. It felt normal, safe, routine, sane. Not like kissing him, where she forgot who she was and her walls fell all the way back down after she'd been building them up these last few months.  
"Oh yeah, who wouldn't worship you? Oh right... Everyone, you blonde headed-demon!" He smirked.  
She rolled her eyes. "Good one. Your mom help you with that?"  
Freddie groaned, his voice becoming a little louder. "Why do you always have to bring her into it, Sam!?"  
"Because I love tormenting you, and I hate her." She smirked, shrugging and bending down to put the cola back in the fridge.  
"What was that? You love me?" He teased, standing up and crossing his arms.  
"Not in a million years, Fredweird. I love watching you squirm though." She spat, standing back up and squaring up to him, to remind him of how strong she was, how she never backed down.  
"That's not what you said before."  
"I was probably high before."  
"High on looooove," he teased, cocking his head.  
"You wish." She retorted, nearly shouting herself now. Just like old times.  
"Oh yeah, well-"  
"Oh can it, Benson!" Sam snapped, jumping onto him like a cat, trying to tackle him to the floor. But she'd underestimated how strong he'd become over the last couple months, and she wasn't able to overpower him as easily as she used to. He caught her by the waist and whirled her round and managed to throw her down on the bed, climbing on top of her, a passion in his eyes that she remembered so well, practically lived for. She loved it when they were like this, their anger turned to passion, not being able to keep their hands off each other. This time they met in the middle, kissing enthusiastically, nothing slow or soft about it. She could hear Freddie practically growling in the back of his throat and she thought she might die, it was so hot. They managed to get her duvet from underneath them and pull it over top, and as soon as they did Freddie's hands were making their way under Sam's shirt and up towards her chest. She felt her stomach somersaulting and raised her arms, allowing Freddie to slowly and agonizingly pull the fabric up and over her head, flinging it on the floor beside them and out of their way. He began kissing her chest and was making his way up her neck when she opened her eyes and said, "Wait."

Freddie raised himself up a little and looked into her eyes, panting slightly. "Yeah?" He asked, looking at her with concern.  
"I know you asked Carly if it was too late for her to love you after we broke up."

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Cliffhanger! Lmao sorry, thought this would be a good place to leave this chapter. Let me know what you think and if you'd want some more chapters! Hope you're enjoying reading it as much as I am writing it :)


	2. Chapter 2

Hey, thanks everyone for the reviews! Thanks for the helpful comment about paragraph length as well, I'll try to keep them shorter! Sorry I couldn't upload sooner than now, I was working for the last couple of days and was just feeling too tired and uninspired to write. Hope you enjoy!

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Freddie rolled off of Sam and turned to face her. "What?"

"Yep."

"When was this?"

"Around the time Gibby opened a restaurant in the school basement. You asked Carly if it was too late for her to love you. I overheard but I didn't say anything until now," She pulled herself up, leaning back on her elbows. "I didn't think you were gonna be interested in me anymore, so there was no point. Until now." She looked down at her bra, feeling a little self conscious.

Freddie sat up and swung his legs off the side of the bed. He put his face in his hands and rubbed his eyes tiredly. Sam felt a wave of annoyance wash over her, and she too swung her legs over, getting up and retrieving her abandoned cuttlefish tee off of the floor and pulling it back on angrily. "I knew this was a mistake."

"Listen, Sam-" Freddie started, standing up and catching her arm. She pulled away, giving him such a pointed 'don't touch me' look that he immediately dropped it. "I'm sorry that you had to hear that, but God, I'm more sorry that I even said it in the first place."

"Why, because you got caught?" She snorted.

"No, because it was stupid. I didn't love Carly, I just... missed liking Carly. Sam, we'd just broken up and I was still really hung up over you-"

"So you mean to tell me that you tried to use Carly, our best friend in the world, as some sort of rebound?" Sam demanded, eyebrow raised.

"No... I knew it was stupid as soon as it came out of my mouth. I would never use Carly. I just missed thinking I was in love with her for a little while. Having a crush on Carly was so easy, she'd knock me down, I'd brush myself off, I'd have this ideal of what it was like to be with her that I didn't really ever have to confront the realities of... But being with you..." He trailed off, running a hand through his hair. Sam felt the anger flare up inside her, knowing what he was about to say. Being with her was difficult, wasn't conventional, wasn't easy... Not like it would be with Carly.

"Being with me was what?" She asked, the question sounding more like a statement.

"Being with you was amazing Sam." He assured her, holding out his hand to try and hold her arm. She stayed just out of arm's reach though, deciding that her being difficult was justified in this situation. "You made me feel things that I never felt about Carly, things that kinda scared me. We were so full on, so fast. We told each other we loved one another but we were also always fighting. One minute we were at each other's throats and the next we were making out - it's like I didn't know what was going on..."

"So why did you come back here?" Sam demanded, throwing her arms in the air. "If I was so confusing and hard to be with, why bother coming back here and making out like you still want me? Like you still want us?"

"BECAUSE-" Freddie bellowed, before he could stop himself. His voice faltered, and he shook his head. "Because it's so worth it Sam. Like I said, you made - make, me feel things that I've never felt about Carly, or any other girl for that matter, before. I know we fought. We always fought. I just expected it to end when we got together but I know now that was immature of me."

Sam snorted again, dropping down into her desk chair heavily, and swiveling to face the window. She watched students in the distance playing a game of Frisbee and let the quiet settle in the room.

Freddie crossed the room to the back of her chair and spoke softly. "Sam, whenever we're together, it's like there's this passion that we don't know what to do with. It used to end in arguing all the time, fighting, screaming... But now it's like we've found another way that it works for us. Samantha." He twirled the desk chair around, kneeling down and holding the sides of the chair so she couldn't swivel away from his gaze. "Samantha, listen to me. I'm in love with you. Whenever we're together we're either fighting, or we can't keep our hands off of each other. And I can put up with the fighting just like I always have. I realize now, relationships, love, isn't supposed to be easy. Especially with us," he smiled, bringing his hands up to cup her face.

She cracked a small smile, looking down into her lap instead of into his intense gaze. She knew he was right. But she still didn't wanna give in too easily, forgive him just like that. She was worried he would hurt her, and go running back to Carly or whoever else whenever things got hard. She wondered if his words were sincere.

He sensed that she wasn't entirely convinced, and so he used a finger to tip her chin up so that she would look him in the eyes. "I understand if you don't wanna be in a relationship with me Sammy. We can still hang out, just like we used to. We did use to have some pretty good times, even when we used to think we hated each other. Like remember that time when we shared Locker 239? That was funny, you tormented me pretty hard-"

Sam was filled with such happiness and warmth at the memory that she instantly broke into a wide grin, nodding vigorously. She suddenly missed being at Ridgeway really badly, she missed seeing Carls, Freddie and Spence everyday and she missed when things were simpler. She missed it so much that the butterflies that were in her stomach earlier now seemed to rise into her chest and she launched forward, hugging Freddie and burying her face in his neck.

When she finally pulled away she admitted, "I still have a lot of feelings for you, Benson. But I think for right now, we need to just stay friends for a while. I miss hanging out with you, without all the relationship drama."

Disappointment, yet acceptance, clouded Freddie's features. He nodded. "That's probably a good idea. We should build some trust back up."

Sam felt so torn inside, like she knew that her turning Freddie down might be something that she regretted sooner than later, but she also knew that time to build up confidence and trust in their relationship would be the best idea in the long run. She didn't want to be foolish and make the same mistake of rushing into things with him when there were so many underlying problems she'd been mulling over for months - his coming back, his apology, those things couldn't make everything magically alright again in a day. There was definitely things that they needed to work on.

"Okay," she smiled conclusively, standing up from the computer chair and pulling her coat back on.

"Where are you going?" Freddie asked, brow furrowed.

"I'm going to hang out with one of my best friends, I haven't seen him in a while," Sam teased, catching him by the crook of his elbow and pulling him out of the room, laughing.

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I know this isn't very long, I'm sorry! Originally I was going to get them to get back together in this chapter but I thought it seemed rushed and unrealistic, so I feel like they need to go on a few little adventures first ;) Any ideas about where they should go? I'd love to hear any suggestions :)


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